random thoughts…
the bitter-sweet flavor relishes a constant reminder of just how much you meant. A long cold road filled with the task of swallowing this broken heart lies ahead, winding and whirling, but always empty. Happiness hides in memories and dreams now, reality has washed away all remnants of the joy once shared. As I die from inside, I sit and watch you drown your sorrows in bottle after bottle. I may be walking alone on a beaten path, but I know happiness is not hiding in the bottle of yeast. It’s hiding in you.
With each days birth, a new reminder is born. These mental notations ring throughout my head ceasing to silence the words “you are alone.”
With every blink of my eyes, a brief glimpse of your beauty is cast forth from my memory as a warning of what happens when the heart grows an attachment.
Cold and bitter – safe and sound both equal out in my life now.
on Shit Talk Airlines my flights are non stop…
a new beginning, but a familiar path.
alone again with only myself to blame.
Change as they may.
everything always looks the same.
another day fading to an empty night.
shallow hole seems closer to fitting me right
i can’t get passed these doubts in my mind
another doors closed, the pain with fade in time.
i’m told it’s ok, plenty of days left; plenty of faces left.
a face i have, but completion i’ve lost
yellowed lights coruscate upon the reflecting pool beneath the city skyline. Small glowing balls appear on the horizon as the city’s conquering heroes return home from the steadfast battles of the workday. A blinking beacon of hope – a reminder burned into the subconscious of the city’s insomnolence – illuminates high into the night blanketing the surrounding hillside in a shield of invisible waves of sound. An overwhelming since of paucity, swarms in with just a quick glance unto the world that exists outside the window pane.
i should have known i’d end up like this…
alone with myself in a room of mirrors
reflecting nothing more than the emptiness of shadows.
i should have known i’d end up like this…
lying to myself just to feel sane
trusting myself to keep the blanket over my eyes.
i should have known i’d end up like this…
laying in a pool of tears awaits my rescuer
to pull me from this and show me the light.
i knew i’d end up like this: bitter and alone.
a lonesome translucent tear runs vigorously down the flushed pale cheeks, as the thoughts of the deterioration that is being played out before the tear soaked eyes. A feeling of true abandonment soon sets in as realization that the past remains in the past and will never return. Similarities may venture out from the history that lay beneath the coy actions and bitter remarks, but those situations that flourished not long ago will never return to be the same. A quivering finger, dry and rough from the day to day battles of the employment world, extends up, outstretched, reaching to catch the vandalous tear from being seen by the everyday public. A quick gesture to deflect any notion that a heart still beats love inside the cold, dark, shell that lay before her now. All passion,lust, and happiness drained like a vampire’s feast and replaced with the ever thinner hatred, sadness and sorrow. A thinner solution, yes, but it just takes more to fill the tank to it’s threshold.
It’s hard to hide the emotions from the source much like the difficulty in walking on water. It may occur momentarily, but not long enough for anyone to truly notice the struggle.
A picture once sought, is now a picture forever lost.
